Welcome poster featuring Phillip’s artwork. Photo © Ricky Yates
On Saturday 30th July 2016, I had the privilege of officiating at the marriage of my son Phillip, to my new daughter-in-law, Lisa. The wedding took place at the Parish Church of St. Jude, Mapperley, Nottingham and was followed by a reception in the neighbouring Church Hall.
Phillip and Lisa announced their engagement in December last year, whilst on a short trip to Lisbon, Portugal. In early January 2016, Phillip wrote to me saying that they planned to be married in July this year and would like me to officiate, if I would be willing to do so. My response was that if that was what both of them wanted, then I would be more than happy to officiate and would regard doing so as a great privilege.
Fortunately, having bought a house together late last year in Mapperley, Nottingham, they discovered that their local Parish Church of St. Jude, was just five minutes walk away from their new home. They went to see the Vicar, Rev’d John Allister, who agreed to them being married at his Church as they resided in his parish. He was also perfectly happy for me to officiate, subject to the agreement of his bishop.
At John’s suggestion, I wrote to the Chaplain of the Bishop of Southwell and Nottingham, seeking her boss’s agreement to me officiating. After she had made contact with my diocesan bishop, twenty-four hours later, I received an email with a delightful typo. It gave me permission to conduct ‘the weeding’. I did reply saying I was surprised that my gardening skills had become so well-known 🙂 In turn, John replied saying that there was plenty to do in the Vicarage garden!
Phillip and Lisa, immediately following the marriage service © Ricky Yates
I have to say that I found conducting the wedding of my son quite a moving experience. I was therefore very pleased that the ceremony did have its lighter moments. The first of these was when I said the famous words, ‘First, I am required to ask anyone present who knows a reason why these persons may not lawfully marry, to declare it now’. Lisa turned her head and gave the congregation such a look, that laughter ensued.
Rev’d, Mr & Mrs Yates © Kathy Garner
Then I had to deal with an over enthusiastic bridegroom. ‘Phillip, will you take Lisa to be your wife?’, I asked. ‘I will’, he immediately replied, before I could ask the rest of the question – ‘Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?’ I did then get a second ‘I will’, having completed the question.
After Phillip and Lisa had made their marriage vows to each other, the plan was for my grandson/Phillip’s nephew, Finley, to bring me the rings. But having taken one step forward, he then dropped the box containing the rings, straight onto the floor! Fortunately, Adam, the best man, rescued the box and brought me the rings for them to be blessed and then exchanged.
At the end of the marriage service, I experienced an interesting change of role. Having pronounced the blessing of the whole congregation and sent the new Mr and Mrs Yates off down the aisle, I then had to also be the father of the groom, and escort Lisa’s mother Kathleen, out of the Church.
From L to R: Jovan Vukoman, Usher, Adam Garner, Best Man, Phillip Yates, Bridegroom, Steve Mountain, Usher, Hugh McGahern, Father of the Bride, Yours Truly, Father of the Bridegroom © Claire Garner
St Jude’s Church Hall, suitably decorated for the wedding reception © Ricky Yates
After photographs and initial celebratory drinks in the Church grounds, we sat down in the Church Hall for our celebratory meal of fish and chips with mushy peas, all part of the overarching seaside theme of the reception and the decoration of the hall.
 Phillip and Lisa © Ricky Yates |
 My grandson Finley with my son-in-law, Ian © Ricky Yates |
As is traditional, the evening celebration began with the happy couple having their first dance together. My thanks to Kathy and Claire Garner, respectively the mother and wife of the best man, for giving me permission to use a couple of their photographs, to illustrate this post.
The first dance © Ricky Yates
Congratulations to the happy couple! Beautiful dress!
Thank you, Stephen!
Oh dear, I’ve missed that this was out!!!
So lovely couple and such bright and shining pictures!!! You do look quite taken by the moment, I can imagine it was a very special occasion quite unlike the weddings we normally perform. My oldest is only 17, I have some time to prepare for this!!
Odd that you have to get so many consents from bishops and such-likes. Here you just have to take contact with the vicar in that parish if its not your own and tell him/her that you have been asked. The question if anyone has an objection has never been used here. I can almost hear the answers from that happy son of yours, so eager to marry that sweet girl!!! Double-yes!!! Blessings and congratulations to them and to you!! May there be kindness, sharing and forgiving love between them always.
Yes – I did wonder where some of my regular commenters had got to 🙂
Definitely, a very special occasion. As Phillip wrote to me, ‘Not many people can have their Dad to marry them’. As I then said in return, likewise, ‘not many people get the opportunity to conduct the wedding of their son & new daughter-in-law!’
Regarding obtaining consent, the Vicar of the parish, Rev’d John Allister, right from the outset had no problem at all. But he thought I and he ought just to clear it with his bishop, which is what we did. It is a requirement of marriage law in England & Wales, to first ask if there is ‘anyone present who knows a reason why these persons may not lawfully marry, to declare it now’. But it does have to be a legal objection – I fancy the bride doesn’t count! Thank you for your kind words at the end of your comment, Solveig.
Wishing Phillip and Lisa long life and happiness together; it must have been a wonderful event for both them and you that you could officiate at their wedding, a privilege indeed.
Even the weather seems to have been in joyous mood. Thank you for sharing this special event with us Ricky.
Thank you for your kind wishes, Sean. It was a great privilege to officiate as I say in the blog post and in reply to Solveig.
Yes – the weather was kind. There were just a few spots of rain as we came out of Church, but otherwise it was warm and dry.
How special for you! Even if it was a “weeding” 😀 They look very happy; warmest wishes for a blessed marriage to your loved ones. Your post is very personal and amusing – thanks for sharing.
Very special, Em! And I did enjoy the typo in the email from the Bishop’s Chaplain 🙂 Glad to know you enjoyed this post.