Two weeks ago yesterday, Sybille and I made a short journey in our car, to a Prague City Council facility where it is possible to safely and legally dispose of electrical and other household goods that any Prague resident no longer requires. In the boot of my car, were four – yes four 😀 , old computers, together with a screen monitor, all of which had been rapidly gathering dust for many months, sitting on the floor of my office in the Chaplaincy Flat. Prior to that, two of the computers had been stored in the bottom of the wardrobe of our guest bedroom for at least couple of years.
Before disposing of the computers, Sybille spent several hours completely clearing each of them of all the data they once held, so that no confidential information could end up in wrong hands. It was waiting for Sybille to find the time and this programme to do this, that had delayed their disposal. One thing that particularly struck me as we carried out this whole exercise, was how rapidly technology advances and changes these days. How what was once state-of-the-art technology, has so soon becomes obsolete.
The other question you may well be asking is how on earth we came to possess so many computers in the first place! Well there are explanations, including the important fact that all of them were given to us, second or third hand. We never paid a penny/cent/halér for any of them!
Two of them belonged to Sybille and came with us when we moved to the Czech Republic in September 2008. Both had Windows 98 as their operating system and the facility for inserting a floppy disk. I wonder how many of my readers remember them? 🙂 One of the two when bought new, was the office computer for the group of parishes in North Oxfordshire of which I was Rector from January 1993 until August 2008. It was bought to replace its predecessor which used the DOS operating system. How many readers remember that?
When the Benefice Council agreed to buying a new computer that had Windows XP as its operating system, they also agreed that Sybille could have its predecessor. She inherited the second computer from a husband & wife who lived within that group of parishes and who ran their own business from home and were also upgrading their computer systems.
The other two computers had both been the Prague Chaplaincy Computer in times past. One of them was the computer I inherited when we moved to Prague in September 2008. It had Windows 2000/NT as its operating system and was apparently given to my predecessor as Chaplain, by an American member of the congregation who was returning to the USA and did not wish to take it back with her. It was the computer on which the early posts and associated photographs for this blog were compiled. But by Spring 2010, it was rapidly dying.
The second computer replaced the first. It was given to me by a current member of the congregation whose employers had recently upgraded their computers, and were happy for the old ones to go to voluntary organisations who could make good use of them. It was a vast improvement on the Windows 2000/NT model as it had Windows XP as its operating system. But having previously belonged to a Czech company, it had one major downside – it only spoke to me in Czech 🙁
Despite this, it served me well for just under two years. That was until the on-board battery died, which nearly resulted in me losing all of my data and files. Fortunately, my computer savvy wife came to the rescue, but that incident made it imperative that I moved to another computer as soon as possible. Fortunately, a generous donation and a contribution from Sybille and myself, enabled the purchase of the new laptop computer I’m currently using to compile this post, as I explained in an earlier post of late May 2012 entitled ‘All change!‘
I greatly appreciate the freedom that my laptop computer now gives me to remain connected via email and the internet, when I am travelling. Whilst it normally sits on my desk in the office of the Chaplaincy Flat, connected to mains power and to our home wifi network, I have taken it with me to Brno, when staying there overnight after conducting a service, and also when I visited the UK in August last year. To be able to access my email & answer any urgent enquiries when not residing at home, is a great boon.
Yet when I see people out and about with their tablet computers, iPhones, etc., I am left to wonder as to how quickly my laptop computer, which is still less than one year old, will be considered as being obsolete. After all, its operating system is Windows 7, which has already been succeeded by Windows 8. There are times when I think, can we not stop for a moment and actually appreciate all that modern technology has done for us? Instead, technology continues to advance – and that advance seems to become ever more rapid.
Last weekend, we had the heaviest snowfall here in Prague, since early January 2010. It started snowing late on Friday 22nd February and rarely stopped until just before Sybille and I left the Chaplaincy Flat to go to Church on Sunday morning. To give you a visual impression, here is a picture showing what Kostel sv Kliment / St. Clement’s Church looked like last Sunday, covered and surrounded by freshly fallen snow.
But in contrast to the UK, where everything seems to grind to a halt as soon as any snow falls, here in the Czech Republic, that just does not happen. So it was that Tram 8 arrived on time at 10.07 at the Podbaba tram stop, and whisked us off on our sixteen minute journey to Dlouhá trída, two minutes walk from the Church.
But although public transport almost always keeps going when it snows in Prague, I generally believe that ‘discretion is the better part of valour’, when it comes to trying to drive the ‘Carly’ when it is covered in this amount of snow. The irony of having finally obtained my new Czech driving licence just a few days earlier, was not lost upon me 🙂
After Church, Sybille and I took Tram 26 to Letenské námestí and had a celebratory lunch for Sybille’s birthday, in Fraktal Bar-Restaurace. Then we walked home through Stromovka Park where some park visitors were not put off by the snow, but were sitting out on deckchairs, enjoying liquid and other refreshments from the Slechtovka Restaurace, located in the middle of the park.
Further to my earlier post, and the update in a later post marking the fourth birthday of my blog, today I became the proud owner of a Czech Driving Licence. I now have a driving licence, valid for the next five years, which inevitably also includes a far from flattering photograph of me 🙁
Compared to my two previous visits to Magistrát hl.m. Praha / the HQ of Prague City Council, today’s visit went remarkably quickly and smoothly. Following my second visit on Monday 4th February 2013, when I successfully proved that the Chaplaincy Flat where I live, is my family home, I was given a little slip of paper telling me to return today, with my passport and residency permit, to surrender both parts of my UK Driving Licence and collect my shiny new replacement Czech Driving Licence.
On both my previous visits, I was accompanied by Lisette, an American member of the St. Clement’s congregation, who read Slavic languages at university in the USA, and speaks fluent Czech. But because of health issues, she has since had to return to the US. However, as a result of my earlier posts here, about all that is involved in successfully registering a right-hand drive car in the Czech Republic, I have recently been contacted by a Czech-British couple, Vlad & Jan, who kindly offered to provide language help in future, should I need it, as a ‘thank you’ for meeting with them and giving them the low-down on how to register their British right-hand drive car here.
Unfortunately Vlad had to pay a brief visit back to the UK this week, making himself unavailable. So he organised for his good friend Pavel to substitute for him and, together with Jan, they were both waiting for me when I arrived at Magistrát hl.m. Praha / the HQ of Prague City Council at 3.00 pm this afternoon.
The whole place works on a numbered ticket system. On my two previous visits, Lisette and I had been required to wait for about twenty minutes before our number came up. Today, no sooner had Pavel worked out which button to press to produce our ticket, the ticket number immediately came up, summoning us to cubicle 56. I produced both parts of my UK Driving Licence and my ID, and then my new Czech Driving Licence was shown to me. A quick visit to the cash desk to pay the fee of CZK 50 (about £1.70), produced a receipt. With that, the Czech Driving Licence was mine.
As I have previously explained, the Czech authorities would not allow ‘Rev’ or ‘Rev’d’ as my title as they officially do not recognise religious or hereditary titles. So my new Czech Driving Licence has also made me a layman. But just to make my point, I today deliberately wore my clerical shirt and collar. Therefore here I am, outside Magistrát hl.m. Praha / the HQ of Prague City Council, with my new Czech Driving Licence, having successfully obtained a small victory over Czech bureaucracy, but at the expense of my title 🙁
A few months ago, a British friend who has lived in Germany for many years, alerted me to this online article entitled, ‘How to be German in 20 easy steps’. It is written by a British man who is obviously trying to become accepted in the country in which he is now resident. The article had both Sybille and I in stitches 🙂 But ever since reading it, I have been formulating in my own mind, the equivalent article. So after nearly four & a half years of living as a cizinec / foreigner in the Czech Republic, here is my guide in ten easy steps as to ‘How to be Czech’.
1. Drink beer
The Czech Republic has the highest per capita consumption of beer of any nation in the world. The country also produces an abundance of excellent brews including Pilsner Urquell, the world’s first pilsner pale lager beer, Budvar, Kozel, Gambrinus, Radegast, Staropramen, Krušovice, Starobrno, Bernard and Svijany. In very simple terms, if you want to be Czech, you need to drink beer and enjoy doing so.
You also need to know how to drink beer – in particular to remember that in a Czech bar, your beer glass must always be placed on a beer mat. And going into a Czech bar, sitting at a table, taking a beer mat from the central container, and placing it in front of you, will frequently result in a half litre of Czech beer arriving, without you having to say a word! And be reassured – as far as Czech people are concerned, beer is not alcohol 🙂
2. Get a title
The Czech people love their titles – and use them! Even a simple office worker seems to have Ing. (Engineer) in front of their name. My recent reminder to renew my car insurance came from Ing. Pavel and Ing. Annabella, who both work for the Czech branch of a well-known German insurance company.
I was tempted to illustrate this point by photographing the mail boxes on the ground floor of our apartment block, but decided for reasons of personal privacy, it would be unwise to do so. But you would be amazed how many Mgr., Ing., JuDr., etc there are in our neighbourhood. Therefore our mail box very firmly has ‘Rev’d’ in front of my name. For if you are going to be Czech, you need to have a title!
Whilst recognising that I’m now setting foot where most angels would fear to tread, here is my advice to ladies as to how to dress Czech. Ladies – when wearing a dress or skirt, make sure that it is short – basically finishing mid thigh or even higher! And do not think that this is just restricted to young ladies. In the Czech Republic, you will frequently see a mother and her daughter out walking together, with the daughter pushing a buggy containing her new-born infant. You will then often notice that there is a competition between mother and the new grandma, as to which one has the shorter hemline.
Another aspect of the Czech female look is showing cleavage – usually plenty of it. Please don’t think to reserve such a look for a romantic evening dinner with your boyfriend or husband. If you are going to be Czech, showing plenty of cleavage &/or wearing a short dress or skirt is also the required dress code for going around town during the day and for wearing to the office.
Tight jeans, boots & high heels
When it does get really cold, then the correct Czech female look is spray-on jeans tucked into knee-high boots. And the boots really should have high, narrow heels, despite the cobbled streets and pavements of the historic centre of Prague and other Czech towns and cities. For part of being a Czech lady is being able to walk in such heels and not trip up on the cobbles.
There is far less of a dressing Czech code for men. But if any man wants to really be Czech, he needs to stop worrying about having his hair cut. A true Czech man has long hair and ties it back in a pony tail. As with ladies and short hemlines, the pony tail look is not just restricted to young men. Plenty of Czech men in their fifties & sixties have them too. Gents – you want to be Czech? Grow a pony tail!
4. Take your shoes off when entering a house or flat
Upon your arrival at the entrance door of a Czech home, you must take off your shoes. Your Czech host may well say, ‘Oh don’t worry about your shoes’. Ignore what has been said and still take off your shoes, leaving them in the entrance hall by the door. Failure to do so will result in you forever being known as the foreigner who didn’t take off their shoes. Nobody will ever think you are Czech.
Don’t just obey this rule when entering a Czech home. Adopt the same rule in your own home too. Then when Czech people come to visit you, not only will they take their shoes off upon arrival, they will recognise that you are also on your way to being Czech.
A happy couple roller blading
5. Be sportif
Despite Czech cuisine being somewhat unhealthy – if you can deep-fry it, they will 🙂 – you still see remarkably little obesity. The reason is that in order to be Czech, you need to be sportif. Go out for a gentle walk in a city park or alongside the Vltava River, and you will be passed by a succession of joggers, cyclists, skateboarders and roller-bladers. To be really Czech, you need to be one of them.
Having a baby or toddler that needs to be pushed around in a baby buggy or stroller is no excuse. Just pop on your roller-blades and push the buggy/stroller in front of you. This is strollering – the ideal form of exercise to lose weight after giving birth. If you don’t have the confidence to try it, classes are available as this poster below explains.
If none of these sportif activities appeal to you, then try playing floorball, a form of indoor hockey at which Czechs excel. Or go ice skating in winter, play tennis in summer. Yes – part of being Czech is being sportif. See also what follows in points six and seven.
One little frustration of living in the Czech Republic is the impossibility of getting anything done in most offices on a Friday afternoon. Why? Because everybody is busy packing up and clearing their desks so they can head off to spend the weekend in the chata or chalupa.
A chata is a (usually) wooden small hut or chalet, located out in the Bohemian or Moravian countryside. A chalupa is a bigger and usually more substantial version of a chata – a ‘country cottage’ might be an appropriate description in English. Particularly for any English-speaker who has fallen in love with a member of the opposite sex who is Czech, going to spend the weekend with the Czech relatives at their chata/chalupa, can be the make-or-break experience as to whether the new relationship will flourish and will certainly define whether, as a foreigner, you are going to succeed in becoming Czech.
Part of the chata/chalupa weekend experience is also being sportif, as in point five. Cars leaving Prague on a Friday afternoon will have bicycles up on the roof rack in summer, or skis/snowboards in winter. Some wealthier Czechs will have horses at their chalupa, ready for weekend riding. It isn’t just going to the chata/chalupa for the weekend – the real test for being Czech, is joining fully in the whole experience, including the various, mainly sportif, activities.
7. Enjoy being out in ‘the nature’
Even for those Czech people who don’t own or have access to a chata/chalupa, going out into the Czech countryside and being in ‘the nature’ as they tend to say in English, is deemed highly important. If you want to be Czech, you need to do so too, and be seen to enjoy it.
This means taking the train out of the big city to a small village or town, and then walking for many kilometres along one of the numerous way-marked paths through the forests and over the hills, to another spot where you can catch the train home at the end of the day. Or heading out of the city to where you can hire a canoe and paddle your way along the river, over a few rapids, to a distant location many kilometres downstream.
In summer, these activities can also often include swimming in the many rivers and lakes that are part of ‘the nature’ in the Czech Republic. And for some Czechs, being in ‘the nature’ also means being ‘au naturel’. Certainly don’t expect changing facilities at river and lakeside bathing spots and be aware that many Czech women don’t believe in wearing bikini tops. If you want to be Czech, just join in doing what Czech people do when they are in ‘the nature’.
8. Get a dog
The statistic I’ve read is that 40% of Czech households, have one or more dogs. I often think it might be higher than that. But as I know from our personal experience with Sam the dog, if you have a dog, suddenly complete strangers start talking to you and, far more importantly, to your dog. You have a dog? You must be Czech!
Czech people love books and love reading. The number of flourishing bookshops is testament to their love of reading. To be Czech, you need to be a bookworm too. But don’t confine your reading to fifteen minutes in bed before you go to sleep. No – read a book wherever you are.
What does that mean? It means reading on the tram, metro or bus and whilst standing & waiting for the tram, metro or bus. But don’t just restrict yourself to these locations. The real test as to whether you are Czech is being able to read and walk along at the same time! Yes – you need to be able to read a book, wherever you are and whatever you are doing.
10. Speak Czech
The most obvious, but also the hardest. Whilst many younger Czech people, welcome the opportunity of speaking English with a native speaker, and will respect you for having adopted and practised points one to nine above, the final test is being able to speak their language. Which means getting four genders and seven cases correct, every time 🙁
Did I mention ten easy steps. Sorry – I meant nine relatively easy ones and one that is extremely difficult.
I was going to write about something completely different, but as today’s news media is most unusually, full of a story about one part of the Christian Church, I think I’ll be topical instead. Yes – most unexpectedly, Pope Benedict XVI has this day announced his intention to resign his office at the end of February – the first Pope to do so for nearly 600 years.
What is one to make of all of this? The official reason given for Pope Benedict’s decision to resign is his increasingly frail health. He is nearly 86 years old and in recent times, has been pushed around St. Peter’s Cathedral in what might best be described as a ‘papal trolley’. Those who support this explanation point out that he oversaw the decline in health of his predecessor Pope John Paul II and the paralysis this brought upon the leadership of the Roman Catholic Church. Some even say that he actively suggested to John Paul II, that he should resign, and that he is now acting upon his own advice.
There is always the alternative view of the conspiracy theorists. These suggest that Pope Benedict has been the victim of an internal power struggle within the Roman Catholic Church hierarchy. That he jumped before he was pushed or he was aware of some new sexual or financial scandal breaking and wants to get out before it does. Whilst personally, I am perfectly happy to accept the former official explanation, I do find it interesting that two Irish former members of the RC Church who are now part of my Prague Anglican congregation, have both suggested to me today that there is much more going on behind the scenes than the official explanation. Maybe they are right in recognising what they believe is happening from their own personal experiences of the Roman Catholic Church.
A big religious news story such as this, has once more revealed the religious ignorance of so many journalists. The best one I’ve seen so far is on the BBC News website, who have a quotation from ‘the newly enthroned Archbishop (of Canterbury, Justin) Welby’. Please note BBC, that Bishop Justin Welby is not being enthroned as Archbishop of Canterbury until 21st March 2013. You could try checking his website 🙂
What I have also seen and read today, is what I have experienced many times when visiting the next of kin of a recently deceased person for whom I’ve been asked to officiate at their funeral. Everybody is full of what a wonderful person Pope Benedict is and has been. No quoted speakers are being critical of his pontificate, with the obvious exception of a few total secularists. Yet whilst I would not want to question Pope Benedict’s own personal Christian faith or his devotion to the Roman Catholic Church, I have to say that I am not unhappy to see him resign. However, I will say that I fully respect and admire his stated reasons for doing so. He has now set a precedent for his future successors by indicating that they are not required to stay in office until they die!
Like many practising Roman Catholics and others, I believe that the pontificate of Pope Benedict XVI, has taken the Roman Catholic Church away from the major reforms instigated by the Second Vatican Council in the 1960s. One of the most telling examples of this is the fact that his resignation announcement today, was made in Latin! Whilst he has made positive ecumenical statements, especially when visiting countries which do not have a Roman Catholic majority population such as the United Kingdom, his actions speak louder than words. The creation of the Ordinariate for disaffected Anglicans, behind the back of Archbishop Rowan Williams, is a particular example.
Inevitably, the news media is already full of suggestions as to who will be elected as the successor to Pope Benedict. As I mentioned earlier, such discussions once more show the ignorance of many journalists. But whoever is elected as the next Pope, is going to have to face up to a number of pressing realities if they really want the Roman Catholic Church to survive into the 21st century. Many of these have been articulated by the Austrian Pfarrar Initiative which I’ve written about previously on this blog. It will be most interesting to see who is elected and how that person sets about addressing issues such as the declining number of priestly vocations in Europe and North America, pastoral care and admission to the sacraments for divorced and remarried believers, etc, etc.
I finish this post with a joke from a German website, posted well before today’s announcement. The current Pope and God are having a discussion.
Pope Benedict asks God, “Will there ever be married priests?” God answers, “Not in your lifetime”.
Pope Benedict then asks God, “Will there ever be female priests?” God answers, “Not in your lifetime”.
Pope Benedict then asks God a final question. “Will there be another German Pope?” God answers, “Not in my lifetime!”
